Viewer Question: "It Takes A Village".

Today a post was made both here on the blog and over at the OkiNinjaKitty Channel. Here's the video if you wanted to take a look:

Not long after the video posted a comment was made which asked me the following:

"Have you read Hillary Clinton's book, "It Takes A Village"?? If so, do you think her theory that everyone is responsible for the village children would work in Okinawa? If not, would you agree that Okinawans "parent" their own children starting at home and do not expect the village to do the "parenting" out on the street or at the mall?"

This is a great question! I wanted to respond right away but because of the character limit on YouTube comments I took some time in order to organize my thoughts so I could summarize what I wanted to say all while fitting in the space provided. Then I realized. . . . I've got a blog I can use as much space as I need to answer and so here we are. Because there are a few different parts to this question I am going to take it piece by piece and hopefully it makes it easier to write about and communicate what I am trying to say.

"Have you read Hillary Clinton's book, "It Takes A Village"??"

I unfortunately have not read the book "It Takes A Village" but I am very familiar with the concept that the book is said to discuss.

"If so, do you think her theory that everyone is responsible for the village children would work in Okinawa?"

The more that I examine this part of the question the more complicated my response becomes so hang in there with me for a moment here while I try to take what is in my head and communicate it with words that people other than myself will understand. In many ways I believe that this "it takes a village" theory is very much in place here in Okinawa but not necessarily in the way that we might envision it as Americans. What I mean by this is that here in Okinawa it seems as though the "village" is the family. Children are taken care of my parents, grandparents, great grandparents, great great grand parents (it is Okinawa after all), aunts, uncles and other family members who may be part of the large family structure which seems to be common among Okinawa's families. It is common for families to also do things together so in short there is always someone to keep their eye on the child. For example if you go to a local shopping center mom may be doing the groceries but the child is upstairs in the children's area with grandpa. I have also known people who feel that their children are not quite well enough behaved to bring into public situations and therefore they choose to have a grandparent babysit while they are out and about.

Now I realize that depending on your views you may feel that this is not necessarily an illustration of the "it takes a village" theory but let me explain for a moment what brings me to feel as though it is. Based on the experiences that I have had with some of Okinawa's families there is a lot for the children to learn within the family structure.   Discipline, recreation activities (playing, gardening, cooking) and how to conduct yourself in social situations all seem to be learned through interaction with different members of the family structure. This is enforced when the family comes together and eventually when families spend time in more social situations with outside groups (being in public). Each and every family member has something to offer and therefore this brings me to my observation that this theory is very much practiced here in Okinawa.

"If not, would you agree that Okinawans "parent" their own children starting at home and do not expect the village to do the "parenting" out on the street or at the mall?"

Even in the case of the family being the "village" yes I would agree that most Okinawans "parent" their own children starting at home. There is a certain level of discipline that the child must have before going to a grandparent's house so that the grandparents are not burdened. There will eventually be another level of discipline that a child must have before going into public/social situations so that others are not burdened. Remember people in Okinawa are relatively non-confrontational and have a certain respect for the people around them. If there is something that they as a parent do not feel is acceptable the prevent it from happening, even if it means removing a child from a situation completely, before a stranger has to mention it to them.

As always I do need to stress that there are people out there, as there are anywhere else, who do not have the same feelings towards respecting others and avoiding confrontation. for the most part, however, they seem to be far and few in-between. There is always an exception to every rule. With that being said I hope that I was able to offer an answer to this question. If there are any other ares that you feel I need to clarify on please let me know.